Friday, December 19, 2008





FRIENDS WILL BE THE ONE WHO WILL LAUGH AT YOU WHEN YOU TELL HIM OR HER YOUR PROBLEM BUT ASSIST YOU IN THE END. maybe you're asked me why.. This will indeed show that how close you are. The moment you friends laugh at you is trying to cheer you up. However, if there is no assistance in the end, the people who laughing at you is trying to spam your life.

I'm so lucky to meet real friends more than fake friends. Feel lucky to have a bunch of buddies in University and small group of friends (although they're guy) outside university. That's where I know him..hihi..

Thursday, November 13, 2008

To: nobody

This is the letter to Nobody.

Whom who concern,

I can I know who are you? From the phrase I saw from my chatroom, I realised that you are not happy with me. Nothing much I can said, but I think u've mistaken me. Let me tell you a story.
How much I wish I never been through September and October. The horrible months I have. But really nothing much I can do but then just walk and goes slowly to been through everything. Everything happen in a sudden without reasons and without any signals.
Ya, you're right. When I was sad I really talked to a gal that I always talked to. But I lost this gal for 2 months. I bet that this gal is in a tough situation, she might be sad, she might be crying now. But then at that moment, I really don't have the power to comfort anyone. I used up all my energy to stop myself from crazy_ing or depress.
I met this gal during the month, from her face, I realised that she's not in mood on meeting me in the car of one of her friends. I was lying on the car cushion, by just giving/ receiving a smile. That is the time I really rest myself off from all the war around me. Finally I made up and everything reach to November.
I was trying to find this gal. I ever went near to this gal office. I was standing outside peeking. I never dare to walk in, cause I realised that this gal has lost her smile and laughter she had previously. I went off and finished up the things I need to do nearby. I've called this gal for thousand of times, send her lots of messages. She's angry, she's upset. But REALLY!! I've used up all the power to do anything I have to do. I'd cried in his hug, louder and louder. I've shouted for thousands of times.
I need HIM a lot now, due to all the tough situation I've been through, no matter a hug or a call. But I miss and worry about that gal as well. I don't know what I can do to reach this gal now. But I promise when my problems come to the end, everything will be alright.
Nobody, cheer up. Maybe Im not a good friend to cheer u up but I can be a good listener and reader. I don't mind to read any msg u leave in my chatroom.

Miss you so much ling..

p/s goo, where are you? why you never answer my call lately.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Do I change a lot in 2008?

My Long Hair at the beginning of 2008..

My First time to PERM my hair..Corn Perm
My very FIRST try to cut short hair..
My very First try to have fringe..
Recent me. With reddish highligh and dark purple dye..
p/s I look pale in this picture because I was suffering stomachache. Obviously I was in the toilet. XD

I have not much to talk about in this post. Need lot of time to rest to have all my energy back for FINAL EXAM at the end of November.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


New Hair style..

But never change my mood and luck..

I really need a big big hug from you, ling..

A week with 7 days..
But mine seems like 7 years for this particular week.

I'd met a lot of questions which I can't really explain by words.
I cried a lot, almost every night before I sleep. I try to recall what I'd done, what I'd said. But there is nth to prove me wrong. I just do what I said, say what I did. I never care whether you choose to believe or not because I don't lie at all.
Whatever I did is not accepted but whatever they did, exactly same as mine, you praise them.
I was doing the thing that you would accept but you didn't.
Can you imagine my weeks/month with scoldings and yelling.

Handphone is considered as a usefull tool for connections with people around the world or a good way to communicate with people without looking at him or her. BUT for me its sucks. I called the one I have to call to explain everything clearly I got scolded all the time. When I called the one I wish he can accompany me he started to be frustrated because of my stuff.

I'm sorry. Until now, I really don't know what is happening exactly NOW!! I wish someone can tell me but no one there understand and dare to analyse for me. I know that this case is a sensitive stuff. I knew it but I don't know. (I know this phrase is weird but it's my feeling now.)

This is for you, ling...>>>>>

Ling, I have to say thousand of sorry for what I've did this month. It's all out of my control. Everything happened without my expectation. What I get is scoldings but what I missed is the chance of explanation. I wish to explain all the time when I met it but I was stopped. Maybe you're right. I'm stubborn. But I still have to respect them. Frankly speaking, whenever I called you I expected to be scolded by you. I'm afraid. I think and filtered everything when I talked in case I "put on" the fire. Is tough for you to have such "nee" but I'll try to recover myself. Give me a chance to do it. Give me a shoulder to lean against with. I won't need you to help me to do
everything but what I need is YOUR SHOULDER for me to lean against with.

There are some words that I never dare to tell you face to face or on call. I'm afraid that I can't control my emotion. I hope you don't blame me on what I did this few weeks, month. I'm really sorry and I really look forward for a BIG BIG HUG from you. I admit. I NEED IT!!! To feel care and warm. I admit I NEED THE BIG HUG FROM YOU, LING!!!

Friday, October 10, 2008


I'm generous. But there's limit.
I'm still an ordinary girl regardless on how generous am I.
I'll jealous without telling anyone of you!
I'm gentle"lady" enough for not breaking your ego feeling.
I HATE sharing like you and any GIRLs /boys.
Stand in my position and think before you start yelling "what the hell!"

I HATE sharing. Including my study, my life, my stuff and even my love, my boy, my ANYTHING!! There're mine. Stamped my name on it early.
Everything in the PAST is HISTORY! PAST=HISTORY.
NOW and FUTURE there are MINE!!!MINE!!! is the area that you are NOT allowed to step in and YOU ARE NOT SINCERELY INVITED!!

I'm not selfish. But I need respect.
You are NOTHING to comment about my life on my everything or how I treat someone or anyone.
This is me. You haven't know me well.
Just remember..I'm generous with limitation. My limitation is kind enough to serve everyone on earth. Don't go over my limit.
I'll keep everything, everyone, every and every with me only once I start to angry.
I look so weak in front of you because I respect you as my FRIEND(s). Frankly speaking, I'm not the one you see. I'm the one you NEVER know.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I'm SICK!!!

Today, I'm sick. I feel myself extraordinary this morning when I woke up. I feel like crying. I feel so so so different this morning that I never behave like that before. Cry easily and miss my dear alotz more. The weather this morning is so cool and cold. I can just put down all the curtain and sleep. BUT I can't. Force myself to wake up and went to campus for classes.

During the afternoon class, I started feeling dizzy and can't even walk straight. In the class, I can't even concentrate. After that, feeling to vomit. Rush to toilet..Hard time for me in the toilet as I can't even stand straight. Vomit all the water i drank the whole day. Kinda sad in the toilet and tears dropped a lot. @@

*nothing much I can say. Pictures explain everything.

I felt "pale" but quite ok in the morning before class. Can realise that my face is so extraordinary reddish.

I went to visit Dr. Lu during the dinner time. I felt like dying before that. I called him to fetch me to clinic in a rush time. WOW!!
Thanks ling to save me on time..haha..

The doctor gave me 4 packets of pills. Seems that I gonna eat medicine instead of sweets for the whole week.

The medicine for gastric. 4 tablets per day. Have to finish all.

To prevent dizzy and vomit. 3 per day but just consume if it is necessary.

Anti-biotic. 3 per day. Must finish all.

Pain killer. 4 per day.
As a conclusion, I have to eat 14 pills a day. WOW!!!
No more chocolate!
No more snacks!
No more soft drinks!
No more staying awake late in night!
More water!
More rest!
More sleep!
This is the contract I signed with ling. Hope I don't breach it.
Get well soon
~to me!!
Still got tons of assignments for me to do.. =(

Sunday, August 31, 2008

The art of Kiss

1. Kiss on the hand
I adore you

2. Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends

3. Kiss on the neck
I want you

4. Kiss on the lips
I love you

5. Kiss on the ears
I am just playing

6. Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away

7. Look in your eyes
kiss me

8. Playing with your hair
I can't live without you

9. Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go

I read it from my mail. And I realised that I received the similar emails previously. I can't confirm and prove that issit true because it sounds like so different from what I predict. Anyway, just share what I saw.

Friday, August 29, 2008

I'm here..Flying by..

I got a different mood today.

I was awaken by my alarm at 5.30 am. I realised that there was heavy rain and storm. WOW!! Water is coming in through the window above me!! I just wake my lazy body up to close the window in case I get electric shocked if the water split on the switch near me!! @@..

After I wake him up, I change my alarm to 730am and sleep back. For sure, I wake up on time for my revision that I planned the day before. I don't have class the whole day. But, I sit in front of my pc and book for the whole day. I was not in mood ot do any research for my assignment so I just read the lectures slides and text books so as to get any ideas for my assignments. FINALLY, after the whole day of struggling, I read all the 4 subjects, revising all the lectures slides that had be tought in class.

I end my study at 7pm and go take care of my small little nephew. I make milk to feed him. Change his diapers and clothes. Even clean his bed sheet for him to lye on. WOW!! After that, when I was trying to study back, I realised that my eyes are totally dry and bit redish when I looked at the mirror. A bubble talk popped above my head " Is time to rest! @@" just keep every neat and nice. My cousin is so kind to sponsor me one second-hand table lamp, and it suits my needs if I study at mid nite. I try it. Its NICE!!! AWESOME!!

The new look of my study table when I'm using my table lamp..


Friday, August 22, 2008


Its 2.43 am early in the morning. I just finish my tutorial question of FIB partially and I'm tired. I drank alot of nescafe to wake myself up at least to finish half of it. Luckily I meet my target. I've no longer have energy to break my target so just stop there and start blogging.
New semester starts. This semester I'm taking 4 tough/main subjects. A friend of mine, Justin Sim(I gonna say your name out), he's taking 2 main subjects and 2 elective subjects that really make his life much more easier. He just has to focus on 2 main subjects with average assignments and 2 elective subjects which are small case for him. OMG!!! HOWEVER!!! mine is SU*Ks..I'm taking Transnational Marketing, HRM in Contemporary Organisations, Foundations of International Business, and Marketing Research. 4 main subjects with main assignments in ONE GO!! ONE SEMESTER..
I told myself, this semester I HAVE to get the scholarship but NOT I WANT to get scholarship as I lost mine last semester. I was so disappointed with it although the overall result is satisfied. But yet, still lost my scholarship. sob sob..
This semester, I consider the whole University staffs and marketing department suffer a lot. The GRAND Opening for our expanded campus will be held at 23th August 2008, which is TOMORROW. I'm part of the Student Welcoming Group! I'll be the one standing there, waving the Jalur Gemilang(National Flag) to invite our VVIP, Chief Minister and his wife as well as other VIPs. Actually our Prime Minister, Pak Lah, is coming. However due to the election thingy and some political issues, he's confirmed not coming but will send his representative here. The numbers of VIPs are over 1000 of them I think. It will only be happened once in my whole life, Century of Swinburne. Wow!!
Clap Clap!!! Cheer Cheer!!
Although just a small part of the working committees and students, Me, I was quite busy as well. Attending all the rehearsal and briefing when its time for dinner. The ppl in charge said that is the chance for us to feel the feeling.. The so lar.I hope the feeling tomorrow will be GREAT!!
Talking back to my semester 4, 2008. I can't imagine that I'm really a senior to junior. 1 more year, I gonna graduate. One year, 365 days however only 2 more semesters to go. Time is shooting fast. I hope time can go slowly so I can do everything perfectly as I think 24 hours per day for me is really really not enough. After reading and scanning through all the subjects outline given, my time will be VERY VERY pack. I got tons of assignments to finish within 14 weeks before my final exam. I'll be spending more of my times with books, computers, internet, newsparer, library but NOT HOME!!! How interesting will be if my home(in Bintulu) is located at Kuching or my University is located at Bintulu. Wow!!! Aircond when I was hot, Widescreen TV to watch my favourite drama, Kitchen when I was hungry, Room when I am tired and BIG wardrobe to tidy up everything of mine.
Ah!!! There is not time for me to dream so much. It's 3am and I shall sleep now. Preparing for Swinburne Sarawak Grand Opening tomorrow. More pictures will be uploaded after the ceremony. Can't wait to meet my friends and buddies tomorrow as we will wear the same costumes, working in the same group.
Sheena, Jacq, Grace, Bao Qing, Song, Cyntia,Jesper..See ya tomorrow..haha!!!
Johnson, Yieng, Shirly, Irene, Eric, Keith, Beng, and all the choir members, Good luck for your performance..
Last but not least, Good night to HIM!! Oink Oink..
miss you lot, ling..
Happy 1 1/2 year anniversary to us..
standard line..

Sunday, August 10, 2008


我累 了!每晚被恶梦打扰让我真的吃不消。

我面对的很多很多事 我发现 我越来越吃不消
我根本没办发像以前一样萧撒, 可以做我自己想做的决定。


我不大声不代表我怕 因为我真的累了。
简单的生活 简单的环境 简单的问候 简单的伴侣
在我最无助的时候我只要你的声音 一个肩膀
我没力气再大声说话了 我没力气去要赢任何一个人 一件事
只要我创关成功, 我一定会比别人强!

虽然没人在你最无助的时候帮你 陪你




It is 2.55 am now. I just awoke by a nightmare. It really makes me sleepless and helpless.
I hate suffering in this kind of situation. No one there is really helping me. Got fooled and scolded all the while. The purpose I like to go out is because I really don't dare to stay alone for so long.
Im tired of everything. Pressuring me alot on my study and maintain my relationship (family, love and friends). Nothing expected I got. All the unexpected I got. I tried hardly to be good but why never get appreciated!
I'm a gal. Basically a helpless gal somehow, i dunno how, with problems. I wish to know why BUT i was failed in getting all the answers I want. I'm coward. I never dare to stay alone. This is my real behaviour since I was still a little gal. I scare of dark due to my bad experience in my primary school life. I hate to lose due to the pressure of people's words. So I pressure myself a lot in doing whatever thing. I'm always escape from argue with him or friends because I've tired of arguing. Being scolded and teased at the same time is SUCK for me.
I want to find a person who really there for me to rely on. A shoulder that always stand by for me to lean against. I found it. But I almost lost it. I'm trying so hard to grab it, avoid it from losing. I try to be independence but yet I need help and TIME..
I NEED YOU!! This is what I can say now. I really can't sleep. I cant even count how many nights I need u in midnight and how many nights I was suffering sleepless nights and nightmares. I hate that kind of situations, that kind of feelings. I cant even measure how much I wish to see you everyday and how much I miss you. I cant even measure how much I wish to grab a hug from you. Grab the power of strength and brave from you like previously.
This is the first time I feel this kind of feeling. Frightening, scary, helpless and lonely. There come together at the same time. I gonna copy the lyric of one song, "all I want is you".

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Unpredictable lonely

Happy Chinese Valentine to every couples in the world!!!
Happy Chinese Valentine to my couples friends and ling!!!

Why unpredictable lonely?
My school started this week. It is going quite well. I have no class today. Its kinda tiring and boring. The moment I wake up, study myself, wait 4 lunch, wait for call. Then study again.

nth to do. Facing my laptop, watch movie but with blank minded. I wish to see him.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Alex, I answered it already...

Back to blog. Realise that Alex asked my to answer these..Satisfy with the answer, dino?

1) If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
- Sad of course..But I'll be angry.. Hate him and never give him a chance no wonder how he beg me..

2) If you have a dream to come true, what would it be?
-Finish my Ph.D study, success in career and stay forever with my Darling.

3) Are u sleepy now?
-Nope. Because I'm missing him a lot. And checking my mail.

4) Are u confused with what lies ahead of you?
-Confused? Lies? Which one u want?

5) What's your ideal lover like?
-Caring, Loving, Independence, Understanding, Patient

6) Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
-Loving someone consider blessed. But for me I prefer being loved by someone. Enjoy the feel of caring by someone.

7) What is the one thing that pisses you off about the opposite sex?
-Erm...Impatient? Never tidy himself neatly.

8) How far will you go for the one you love the most?
- Very far! XD.. I'll love the one I loved more than one day he loves me.

9) Is there anything that makes you unhappy these days?
-Yes. *god bless to her..

10.What is your favorite fairytale of all time and why?
- Snow White. Cos I hate the witch..

4 person to do this survey.Answer these questions honestly~~ ( formalities )
1. Tiong
2. Jacq
3. Tyng
4. Johnson

1 ) Are you allowed to have a bf/gf?
-Nope. Only when I got my own income.

2 ) Describe urself in one word.
-Quite numb..stupid..however, like to laugh

3 ) Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
-The one who really love me..

4 ) Have you ever loved someone BEFORE but never had the courage to tell him/her?
-Yes. Of course..

5 ) Does it feel good to love?
-Yes. But make ones becomes dependence..

6 ) God is giving u just 5 more minutes to live, IF you love someone special what will you say to that person?
-I love you! Please marry me..XD. But I'll prefer keep quiet after that by keep hugging him.

7 ) What will you say to someone who doesn't want to believe you??
-You're regret..

8 ) Was ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
-Never. Cos my destiny will come to me on time

9 ) What' your opinion about someone who's jealous?
-Stupid. Never believe me..

10 ) What can you say about playboys/playgirls?
-Better become monk or nun.

[[ * PART 2 * ]]

1 ) Best place to cry?
-In someone hug that I wish a lot..

2 ) Who do you love the most?
-The one I love..hihi...

3 ) Tell us ur dream last night?
-Still alive when I wake up the next day

4) Ever hated someone so bad?

5 ) The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard?
- Previous relationship "Teaching maths" but doing other things..SHIT!!

[[ * LAST PERSON... * ]]

:: had a beer with?
- nope

:: went to the movies with?
- nope

:: talked on the cell phone with?
- ~ling

:: u hugged?
- HIM!!! XD

:: u yelled at?
- Shout!!


>> Kissed sumone?
- HIM!!

>> Sing/sung/song?
- Yes. Whenever I free..As well as on call

>> Danced crazy?- Yes. when I try to release my tension and my bad mood

// Think of the last time u were angry, why were u angry?
- Treated unfair

// You will die in 3 mins. Last call?
- HIM!

// If you could do anything OR wish anything, wad would it be?
- Have good communication with friends and ling.

// Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?- no. been blackmailed

// Are you old fashioned?
- Nop,update slower than others

// What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
- Both

// What things would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
- Private..

7 Facts About Me
1. Bad temper
2. Stupid/Numb
3. Like to depend on someone I love
4. A bit Clever too
5. Like food and drink
6. Love music
7. Clumsy

7 Things That Scares Me
1. Dark
2. Drunken man
3. Lonely
4. Lost contact with someone for more than 2 hours
5. Forgotten by someone in school
6. No1 fetch me back home from any place
7. No friends

7 Songs Playing in My Head Lately
1. 发如雪
2. 一首简单的歌
3. 勇气
4. 再见
5. Starry Starry night
6. 对你有感觉
7. 你是我的眼

7 Valuable Things in My Life
1. Family
2. Friends
4. Handphone
5. Money
6. House
7. Knowledge.

7 "First Time" in My Life
1. Love study
2. Kiss
3. Hug
4. Golf (3 Years Ago)
5. Having camera Hp..
6. Birthday with friends and him..
7. Cry because of happiness

7 Words/Things I Always Use/Say
1. Haha..
2. Ya kar..
3. Ish..
4. Aiyer..
5. Wei.. Wei... Wei...
6.Thank you...
7. Paiseh..Sorry

Saturday, June 21, 2008

I want to be HACKER!

I wish to be a HACKER! The hacker that can hacks into people mind. Try to know what are they thinking.

It is very difficult and tough and HARD when thinking what are people thinking with blank minded.

Besides that, it will be wonderful if human brain has built-in bluetooth system. So that, if ones want to understand what the others are thinking about, he/she can just one the bluetooth and search the devices that wanted to know. (haha)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Happy Birthday to Ivy

Finally, the END of the WAR!!

I finish my final exam. And Im quite satisfy with my overall performance. Yippie...Hopefully there is miracle for me...hihi...
Today is my happiest day of my life. This is the first time I got such a surpricing birthday party from my friends. Thanks a lot to Ling, Jocelyn, Alex, and KCK (hihi)!!

Everything start from a normal dinner. Everything is normal after we reach to Point One. A lifestyle cafe where people can sing and have drink or gathering with their friends. I was listened to the song seriously and I realised that there is one gal is also celebrating her birthday.

Happy birthday to her too...

Everyone sing birthday song to her. Including me..Then that gal makes wishes and blessed by her friends.

After that, is MY TURN!!!

Ling decides to cut the cake. And for sure I can't wait to see how's my cake looks like. The shape of the cake gives me a big big big BIG shock!!! And the cake attracts everyone attention at the cafe.

The cake looks like this..TURTLE...Nice!! The cake is delicious too...
Everyone in that cafe sing birthday song for me. Include my ~ling and friends. Memorable..

The present from Jocelyn. Very Very special and touching.

She draws everything her own.. And it is SO CUTE!!!

And this CD shows everything about me. My life in Kuching. And it is all "home-made". Thanks A lot, goo..

At last, I would like to thank them to give me a memorable night. This is my first birthday party celebrate with you guyz. Of course, thanks ~ling.

Thanks, ling..

Love ya...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Ivy is sad now.
Ivy is upset now.
Ivy is not happy now.
Ivy need someone around for her now.
Ivy is facing big trouble.
Ivy is sitting for her final exam.
Ivy still have 3 subjects to go.
Ivy need him!
Ivy need YOU!

Ivy is trying to get rid of the sadness.
Ivy is trying so hard to make herself happy.
Ivy is trying to stand on her own foot.
Ivy is trying not to rely on other people.
Ivy is working so hard to reach to her target.
Ivy is almost succeed but Ivy is being pull back to the starting point.
Ivy just simply need a shoulder for her to lean against.

Ivy is sick.
Ivy is dizzy.
Ivy ate the medicine but gonna start to study soon.

Ivy still tend to blog here.
Ivy need people accompany.
Ivy just need time to rest so as to solve every matter she met.
Ivy is going to cry.
Ivy is not allow to cry.

Ivy is Ivy.
Ivy is yvI.
Ivy want my laughter back.
Ivy want to smile anytime anywhere (even in toilet)

Ivy miss him a lot now. Ivy miss ling a lot now.

1 Down 3 TO GO!!

Marketing Planning done.
Comment: Its fairly easy. Not enough time to finish it.

I am in Uni library

1.Real name => Ivy
2.Nickname => 33, okui, elephant
3.Married => No
4.Male or Female => female
5.Highschool => Swinburne
7.Short or long hair => consider long consider short
8.Are you a health freak => No
9.Height => 148cm (proud of it,man)
10.Do you have a crush on someone => yes
11.Do you like yourself => of course

12.Piercings => 2
13.Righty or Lefty => Both
14. First surgery => None
15. First piercing(s) => 18
16. First person you see in the morning => Myself. Cause i sleep alone
17. First award => Kindy
18. First sport you joined => Badminton
19. First pet => rabbit
20. First vacation => Miri
21. First concert => Local singers

23. Eating => Nothing
24. Drinking => Cola
25. I'm about to => fighting for my Final exam :D

26. Want kids => considering
27. Want to get married => of course
28. Careers in mind => Businesswoman

29. Lips or eyes => eyes
30. Hugs or kisses => both
31. Shorter or taller => now is better and best for me
32. Romantic or spontaneous => spontaneous
33. Sensitive or loud => loud
34. Trouble maker or hesitant => hesitant

35. Kissed a stranger => never. I would rather kiss the toilet seat
36. Drank bubbles => =_=
37. Lost glasses/contacts => always
38. Ran away from home => thought before
39. Liked someone younger => yes, of course
40. Liked someone older => yes
41. Broken someone's heart => ya. but not purposely..Sorry to him
42. Been arrested => no
43. Cried when someone died => sure
44. Liked a friend => Yeah

45. Yourself => oh yeah
46. Miracles => always
47. Heaven => yeah
48. Santa claus => nope
49. Angels => oh yeah oh yeah

50. Is there one person you want to be with right now => YAYA!!!
51. Do you believe in God => yes
52. Tag 5 people => Avery Wee, Johnson, Tiong, Alex, Aldrin

Monday, May 19, 2008

*untitled 2

The first time I feel how fail am I. I'm such a failure.

Chai Shan Shan is just a failure. Until today I know I'm a failure. Whenever I meet problem the first reaction is cry then action. But since I will take action why should I cry!!! Might as well hit the wall and damage the room.

Cry, a wonderful weapon for female. Frankly speaking, I never take cry as my weapon. I just use it as a way for me to express my mood. No one listen to me. What I get is just a job an 'arahan' a command to do all the thingy which is not my business. But what I can do? Reject? Get scolded..Get complained. I'm strong but weak as well. I can't stand for such scoldings and complaint everytime. I might collapsed as well.

Today, a wonderful holiday to everyone, a helly day for me. I collapsed. I could hardly smile since I woke up early in the morning. I slept at 4am, wake up at 7am. How do I expect myself with a smile. I just a failure in giving a small fake smile the whole day.

Get pissed off from friends calls. Willing to find someone to talk with but unluckily I chose the wrong time. I'm sorry for him. But after I made call just now, FINALLY, I realised that I just a 100% failure. No one I can talk with now. I can't cry. I have to stop my tear falling down. I've to keep myself strong with any obstacles I meet. I won't ask for help. I don't want to be the nuisance for anyone, someone or even everyone. But doesn't mean that you can take the advantages to bully me. Recently me is DEAD!!! I'll make myself another person.

Won't be scary and harmful but anti bully. I have to be strong. I have to show my ability to hit all the enemies down.

I want to be a successful girl after this failure. This time I fell down so seriously. I must wake up myself and be success. Put more effort in again and be a successful girl next time.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

First of all, HAPPY MOTHER's DAY to my mummy, to my aunt, and to everyone's dearest mummy...

Last night, I went to a dinner organised by FOOK KHANG VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT,福康素食园 and a music school, which I really don't it Englist name, 何康伟音乐学院. The theme for this dinner is Parent's Day. At here, I wish my daddy and mummy stay lovely and sweet, healthy and wealthy.
I got the random pictures for the dinner. And I adore the performance by the students and teachers there. Make my finger feel like tickling on my leg as if I was playing piano too.

The stage. And I was just sit right in front of the stage. Mean that, I can't play, laugh too much and must turn my hp to silence mode as my ringtone is so funny.

The VIP at our table. My uncle and my aunt.

The only drink serve. The tea, which is make from the purple leaves..I don't what is that thingy. It tastes sweet but weird for me.

Another Main actress on my table. My niece. She just like to do posting.

The menu for that night. Overall is nice but I dun really try all. Cos some of the vegetarians stuffs do not suit my taste.

The first dish. Which I like the most.

The performance by this little boy attract all the audiences attention.

The organizers of the dinner.

I was so enjoy looking at his performance. He owns the music school.
I enjoy watching to all the music instruments performance that night.
Its kinda late. Is time for me to sleep. Good night to everyone. Last but not least, HAPPY PARENTS' DAY to my dearest daddy and mummy. I love you.. One more year, I'll be back and I'm sure you will be proud of me. Miss ya..
Happy birthday to aurelia..
miss you ling..

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

One Down...Presentation DONE!!

Finally my first formal representation for Market Behaviour DONE!!

This is our presentation topic..Chanel No.5

Yipee... I think our group did a great job, and I think others as well...congratez...

However, I took some random pictures of these...

3 of us before the presentation...

Me and Tyng before the presentation..Release Stress and Tension..



There is one group among our classmates present on Durex..Erm, I name this group at WWW.

They bring the sample to the class on what they will present..And this makes our class lotz of fun.

Ahem... This is the SAMPLE..which give me a big shocked....

Someone open it...Oh my goodness...

Has lotz of fun during the presentation today..

Anyway, have a nice day to everyone.

Monday, May 5, 2008

New LInks Are Added

I've added new links in my bl0g. Is all about Singapore Movie and some artists blogs..

I found that is so interesting. Feel free to go and read it..

Snap Shots...

Nothing much to talk about today. However, as usual, sickening and tiring months...

Del, what are you thinking of???

Andrew, say "Cheese"...

The table I used to study at library today..

Kesian Keith.. You look so tired...

The 1st time I feel the food in the cafeteria satisfy my hunger after 18 hours starving..

Nothing special happening today. But I hope my assignment can be done as soon as possible..

Cheer up, Shan shan =)

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Why? Why is HIM?

People will ask why is HIM?
Even as a gal themselves, they will ask themselves, WHY IS HIM?

I got my own answer already.
Why is HIM? *other than destiny

He is the only one I can talk with without pressure stress. I have my own mood, my own private problem. I would like to share with someone I trust most so as to make myself feel better. Family and friends do around us everytimes. But will you tell them everything. I bet you won't. You will talk to someone you trust with. Whenever I met any problem or I'm sad, I would only share my problem with him. Although sometimes he can't help me too, at least, he is a very very good listener. Dislike others, thinking that its just useless or action_ing, its yet true.
He cares me a lot more than I expect. He just like part of my family. Whenever I met any problem, he will try his best to help me without asking for rebate. When I need someone, he will always be the only one come to me first. He is just an ordinary guy, but different is he will make me laugh out loud or smile sincerely.
Don't ask me why. It is like that. He cares me more than you people are. He knows what am I thinking by looking at my face. And he is the only one who can read 90% of my mind without asking me. Spending money or anything is not workable for me. I just need someone who will care me a lot and listen to me whenever I need it.

Thursday, April 17, 2008


I realise something finally.
Friends are always besides me whenever I was helpless.

And HIM!!
When I was sad, he will feel hurt and angry behalf of me.
When I was helpless, he will always try to spend sometimes to help me.
When I was happy, no matter how tired he was, how moody he was, he will at least smile to make me more happier.
When I was sick, he will concern about me a lot no matter how busy he was.
When I was lazy to do my job, he will scold me and stop me from being lazy.
When I was boring, he will try to do something or find some activities to kill my time.
When I need him by my side, he will always there for me.

I miss the moments we talked at my house car porch. He sent me my biscuits. We have a short talk downstair before he went to his friend's house. Don't why I feel so happy and relax when we were chit chatting there. We crapped a lot. Laugh smile happy.
He is almost part of my life. He is another closest person with me other than my family at here. There is always a shoulder for me to lean on whenever I need it.
There is no much more I can said.

Last but not least,
Thanks a lot for everything. I appreciate everything you did. Really Thanks a lot.

p/s..miss you a lot!!

Monday, April 14, 2008


I've abandoned my blog for few months ago. I really can't recall why I did my last post. But this post will be *untitled*. It is because there will be lots of words and words and thingy inside my post.

As usual, I'm now doing my Year 2. This semester I feel so challenging with my study. Assignments and quizes as well as test everytime. But I never feel tired with the assignments or tests given. This is because I think that this is my own time and moment to study. I think most of the people will agree with me. In University life, all the teenagers are becoming mature and outgoing. Unlike in secondary, once we are free from the assignments and tests, we will just declare holiday for ourselves. We will go hang out with friends or spend our times with our loves on. The same goes to me. Whenever there is assignment or test, I would really stress myself by tying my hair up to the ceiling to finish my assignments or my revision everyday. However, I would declare myself holiday to spend my time by watching series or meeting friends as well as my love one.

However, this year, I discover a study method that it is useful for me and I think is suitable for all my friends as well. And now I feel like sharing this method.
1. Whenever there is an assignment given by our lecturer, appreciate it. Cos this is the only time you will flip over and over your course notes and reference books. From here, you can learn few words or even few points.

2. Try to give yourselves 30 minutes to prepare for the class next day. This will indeed let you understand easily and adsorb faster in the class.

3. Never stress yourselves in every obstacles you meet in the study. Take it easy. Everything will solve in the end.

4. Last but not least, declare yourselves a holiday every fortnightly. This will help you to refresh your brain after 2 weeks hardwork. *but not delete everything in your mind.

With the above study method, I found that it is workable on me. So how do you think?

It is 2.47am now. I'm sleepless. I'm now enjoying my mid term holiday. However, I never feel happy with my holiday. It seems like there is still something ruin my mood daily. I've tried and put so many efforts to overcome this kind of feeling. But it still not working. I would like to tell "him" that I will never forget how "helling" i get scolded that day. Thanks a lot for your scoldings. From this I learned a lot and I finally realize and know everything. No worry. I will be strong and one day I will let you be proud of me. Proud that I can do something independently without you, you and you.

However, whenever I was upset, fei fei will always accompany me from time to time. He never scold me for acting stubborn but help me up whenever I was sad. This is when I have a shoulder to lean against. Feeling the warm and care outside my hometown. Although sometimes he cant really do anything to help me, however, he will try to make me smile whenever my tears dropped. Although he was sick or not feeling well, he will always try to make me smile as he said, fei fei will never let afei cry. He will always come out with jokes to make me smile or even laugh as loud as I can. But Fei Fei, I would like to tell you that, do you realize that, my tears drop easily. This is because warm and care from you let me feel so touch. I won't say I can't live without you. But I will say I want to stay with you forever.

However, this 2 weeks I learned a lot of thingy. The most important one I learned to take care a sick person. I'd learn how to cook a tasty grean pea soup with barley as to get once heat off. I've learned how to give emergency help when someone needed. Previously I will think that by paying money to get the medicine will cure once sickness. But now, I feel that concern by the love one is the basic way to help the patient. But for sure don't make it very lengthy. haha..The most important, I learned how to be independence and protect myself. But last but not least, always remember that friends are always besides.

Anyway, I think I should stop this *untitled* here. Will try to update my blog frequently. And wish me good luck. Gambate to myself. Good luck to all my friends and classmates.

*ling, I miss you a lot.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

School starts =)

Finally, after 3 months of waiting and holiday and playing, school starts.

I'm in Year 2 now. Just suddenly "up-level" to the status of senior for most of the new comers. Not much different compare to last semester, we still have to face the same people, same friends, same lecturer, same timetable. But one small different this semester is we no need to go to school during the registration, stay in a long long queue for registration. The student admin has do everything for us. What we have to do is to take the invoice and pay the money..

Nothing much today.

*will be updated soon =)

Sunday, January 13, 2008


I can't describe my mood today. But I HATE TODAY!!

Today is so empty for me. I'm totally in bad mood now. I don't how to smile. This is the first time I go out driving without any destination in very high speed. This is the first time I can't find my route to go back home.

I'd waited the call and the message the whole day. Every seconds, Every minutes Every hours and Every moments. I never blame for waiting. Just feel so empty empty the whole day. I wish to talk with someone. At least I can feel better. I failed.

I'm now at Bintulu and far far away from Kuching. This is the first time I feel the distance is so so so so so far that I can't reach by calling using cellphone.

I think I gonna change my behaviour. Sometimes I don't think that sincerity help a lotz in everything. I gonna remember every people around me. Remember their behaviour. And treat people differently. This will cause less trouble.