Friday, December 19, 2008
SHORT TERM FRIENDSHIP IS ALWAYS DANGEROUS.
NEVER HAVE LONG TERM OR SHORT TERM.
PEOPLE THAT REALLY SINCERELY TALK WITH YOU WILL ALWAYS WITH YOUR FRIEND.
PEOPLE WHO FIND YOU ONLY WHEN THEY NEED YOU IS NOT A FRIEND.
NEVER EASILY POSITION A PEOPLE IN YOUR FRIENDS LIST IN A SHORT PERIOD.
YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HE OR SHE WILL DO NEXT.
BEWARE OF BITCHY FRIENDS. BE CLOSER WITH YOU BUDDY.
FRIENDS WILL BE THE ONE WHO WILL LAUGH AT YOU WHEN YOU TELL HIM OR HER YOUR PROBLEM BUT ASSIST YOU IN THE END. maybe you're asked me why.. This will indeed show that how close you are. The moment you friends laugh at you is trying to cheer you up. However, if there is no assistance in the end, the people who laughing at you is trying to spam your life.
I'm so lucky to meet real friends more than fake friends. Feel lucky to have a bunch of buddies in University and small group of friends (although they're guy) outside university. That's where I know him..hihi..
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Whom who concern,
Miss you so much ling..
p/s goo, where are you? why you never answer my call lately.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
My First time to PERM my hair..Corn Perm
I have not much to talk about in this post. Need lot of time to rest to have all my energy back for FINAL EXAM at the end of November.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
But mine seems like 7 years for this particular week.
I'd met a lot of questions which I can't really explain by words.
I cried a lot, almost every night before I sleep. I try to recall what I'd done, what I'd said. But there is nth to prove me wrong. I just do what I said, say what I did. I never care whether you choose to believe or not because I don't lie at all.
Whatever I did is not accepted but whatever they did, exactly same as mine, you praise them.
I was doing the thing that you would accept but you didn't.
Can you imagine my weeks/month with scoldings and yelling.
Handphone is considered as a usefull tool for connections with people around the world or a good way to communicate with people without looking at him or her. BUT for me its sucks. I called the one I have to call to explain everything clearly I got scolded all the time. When I called the one I wish he can accompany me he started to be frustrated because of my stuff.
I'm sorry. Until now, I really don't know what is happening exactly NOW!! I wish someone can tell me but no one there understand and dare to analyse for me. I know that this case is a sensitive stuff. I knew it but I don't know. (I know this phrase is weird but it's my feeling now.)
This is for you, ling...>>>>>
Ling, I have to say thousand of sorry for what I've did this month. It's all out of my control. Everything happened without my expectation. What I get is scoldings but what I missed is the chance of explanation. I wish to explain all the time when I met it but I was stopped. Maybe you're right. I'm stubborn. But I still have to respect them. Frankly speaking, whenever I called you I expected to be scolded by you. I'm afraid. I think and filtered everything when I talked in case I "put on" the fire. Is tough for you to have such "nee" but I'll try to recover myself. Give me a chance to do it. Give me a shoulder to lean against with. I won't need you to help me to do
everything but what I need is YOUR SHOULDER for me to lean against with.
There are some words that I never dare to tell you face to face or on call. I'm afraid that I can't control my emotion. I hope you don't blame me on what I did this few weeks, month. I'm really sorry and I really look forward for a BIG BIG HUG from you. I admit. I NEED IT!!! To feel care and warm. I admit I NEED THE BIG HUG FROM YOU, LING!!!
Friday, October 10, 2008
I'm still an ordinary girl regardless on how generous am I.
I'll jealous without telling anyone of you!
I'm gentle"lady" enough for not breaking your ego feeling.
I HATE sharing like you and any GIRLs /boys.
Stand in my position and think before you start yelling "what the hell!"
I HATE sharing. Including my study, my life, my stuff and even my love, my boy, my ANYTHING!! There're mine. Stamped my name on it early.
Everything in the PAST is HISTORY! PAST=HISTORY.
NOW and FUTURE there are MINE!!!MINE!!! is the area that you are NOT allowed to step in and YOU ARE NOT SINCERELY INVITED!!
I'm not selfish. But I need respect.
You are NOTHING to comment about my life on my everything or how I treat someone or anyone.
This is me. You haven't know me well.
Just remember..I'm generous with limitation. My limitation is kind enough to serve everyone on earth. Don't go over my limit.
I'll keep everything, everyone, every and every with me only once I start to angry.
I look so weak in front of you because I respect you as my FRIEND(s). Frankly speaking, I'm not the one you see. I'm the one you NEVER know.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
During the afternoon class, I started feeling dizzy and can't even walk straight. In the class, I can't even concentrate. After that, feeling to vomit. Rush to toilet..Hard time for me in the toilet as I can't even stand straight. Vomit all the water i drank the whole day. Kinda sad in the toilet and tears dropped a lot. @@
*nothing much I can say. Pictures explain everything.
I felt "pale" but quite ok in the morning before class. Can realise that my face is so extraordinary reddish.
I went to visit Dr. Lu during the dinner time. I felt like dying before that. I called him to fetch me to clinic in a rush time. WOW!!
Thanks ling to save me on time..haha..
The doctor gave me 4 packets of pills. Seems that I gonna eat medicine instead of sweets for the whole week.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
I adore you
2. Kiss on the cheek
I just want to be friends
3. Kiss on the neck
I want you
4. Kiss on the lips
I love you
5. Kiss on the ears
I am just playing
6. Kiss anywhere else
lets not get carried away
7. Look in your eyes
8. Playing with your hair
I can't live without you
9. Hand on your waist
I love you to much to let you go
I read it from my mail. And I realised that I received the similar emails previously. I can't confirm and prove that issit true because it sounds like so different from what I predict. Anyway, just share what I saw.
Friday, August 29, 2008
I was awaken by my alarm at 5.30 am. I realised that there was heavy rain and storm. WOW!! Water is coming in through the window above me!! I just wake my lazy body up to close the window in case I get electric shocked if the water split on the switch near me!! @@..
After I wake him up, I change my alarm to 730am and sleep back. For sure, I wake up on time for my revision that I planned the day before. I don't have class the whole day. But, I sit in front of my pc and book for the whole day. I was not in mood ot do any research for my assignment so I just read the lectures slides and text books so as to get any ideas for my assignments. FINALLY, after the whole day of struggling, I read all the 4 subjects, revising all the lectures slides that had be tought in class.
I end my study at 7pm and go take care of my small little nephew. I make milk to feed him. Change his diapers and clothes. Even clean his bed sheet for him to lye on. WOW!! After that, when I was trying to study back, I realised that my eyes are totally dry and bit redish when I looked at the mirror. A bubble talk popped above my head " Is time to rest! @@" haha..so just keep every neat and nice. My cousin is so kind to sponsor me one second-hand table lamp, and it suits my needs if I study at mid nite. I try it. Its NICE!!! AWESOME!!
The new look of my study table when I'm using my table lamp..
Friday, August 22, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
我面对的很多很多事 我发现 我越来越吃不消
简单的生活 简单的环境 简单的问候 简单的伴侣
我没力气再大声说话了 我没力气去要赢任何一个人 一件事
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Happy Chinese Valentine to my couples friends and ling!!!
Why unpredictable lonely?
My school started this week. It is going quite well. I have no class today. Its kinda tiring and boring. The moment I wake up, study myself, wait 4 lunch, wait for call. Then study again.
nth to do. Facing my laptop, watch movie but with blank minded. I wish to see him.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
1) If your lover betrayed you, what would your reaction be?
- Sad of course..But I'll be angry.. Hate him and never give him a chance no wonder how he beg me..
2) If you have a dream to come true, what would it be?
-Finish my Ph.D study, success in career and stay forever with my Darling.
3) Are u sleepy now?
-Nope. Because I'm missing him a lot. And checking my mail.
4) Are u confused with what lies ahead of you?
-Confused? Lies? Which one u want?
5) What's your ideal lover like?
-Caring, Loving, Independence, Understanding, Patient
6) Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
-Loving someone consider blessed. But for me I prefer being loved by someone. Enjoy the feel of caring by someone.
7) What is the one thing that pisses you off about the opposite sex?
-Erm...Impatient? Never tidy himself neatly.
8) How far will you go for the one you love the most?
- Very far! XD.. I'll love the one I loved more than one day he loves me.
9) Is there anything that makes you unhappy these days?
-Yes. *god bless to her..
10.What is your favorite fairytale of all time and why?
- Snow White. Cos I hate the witch..
4 person to do this survey.Answer these questions honestly~~ ( formalities )
1 ) Are you allowed to have a bf/gf?
-Nope. Only when I got my own income.
2 ) Describe urself in one word.
-Quite numb..stupid..however, like to laugh
3 ) Who would you pick, someone who really loves you, or the one you love?
-The one who really love me..
4 ) Have you ever loved someone BEFORE but never had the courage to tell him/her?
-Yes. Of course..
5 ) Does it feel good to love?
-Yes. But make ones becomes dependence..
6 ) God is giving u just 5 more minutes to live, IF you love someone special what will you say to that person?
-I love you! Please marry me..XD. But I'll prefer keep quiet after that by keep hugging him.
7 ) What will you say to someone who doesn't want to believe you??
8 ) Was ever a time that you tried to learn to love someone?
-Never. Cos my destiny will come to me on time
9 ) What' your opinion about someone who's jealous?
-Stupid. Never believe me..
10 ) What can you say about playboys/playgirls?
-Better become monk or nun.
[[ * PART 2 * ]]
1 ) Best place to cry?
-In someone hug that I wish a lot..
2 ) Who do you love the most?
-The one I love..hihi...
3 ) Tell us ur dream last night?
-Still alive when I wake up the next day
4) Ever hated someone so bad?
5 ) The biggest & most hurtful lie you heard?
- Previous relationship "Teaching maths" but doing other things..SHIT!!
[[ * LAST PERSON... * ]]
:: had a beer with?
:: went to the movies with?
:: talked on the cell phone with?
:: u hugged?
- HIM!!! XD
:: u yelled at?
[[ * IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE YOU...* ]]
>> Kissed sumone?
- Yes. Whenever I free..As well as on call
>> Danced crazy?- Yes. when I try to release my tension and my bad mood
// Think of the last time u were angry, why were u angry?
- Treated unfair
// You will die in 3 mins. Last call?
// If you could do anything OR wish anything, wad would it be?
- Have good communication with friends and ling.
// Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?- no. been blackmailed
// Are you old fashioned?
- Nop,update slower than others
// What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
// What things would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?
7 Facts About Me
1. Bad temper
3. Like to depend on someone I love
4. A bit Clever too
5. Like food and drink
6. Love music
7 Things That Scares Me
2. Drunken man
4. Lost contact with someone for more than 2 hours
5. Forgotten by someone in school
6. No1 fetch me back home from any place
7. No friends
7 Songs Playing in My Head Lately
5. Starry Starry night
7 Valuable Things in My Life
7 "First Time" in My Life
1. Love study
4. Golf (3 Years Ago)
5. Having camera Hp..
6. Birthday with friends and him..
7. Cry because of happiness
7 Words/Things I Always Use/Say
2. Ya kar..
5. Wei.. Wei... Wei...
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Happy birthday to her too...
Everyone sing birthday song to her. Including me..Then that gal makes wishes and blessed by her friends.
After that, is MY TURN!!!
The present from Jocelyn. Very Very special and touching.
She draws everything her own.. And it is SO CUTE!!!
And this CD shows everything about me. My life in Kuching. And it is all "home-made". Thanks A lot, goo..
At last, I would like to thank them to give me a memorable night. This is my first birthday party celebrate with you guyz. Of course, thanks ~ling.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Ivy miss him a lot now. Ivy miss ling a lot now.
2.Nickname => 33, okui, elephant
3.Married => No
4.Male or Female => female
5.Highschool => Swinburne
7.Short or long hair => consider long consider short
8.Are you a health freak => No
9.Height => 148cm (proud of it,man)
10.Do you have a crush on someone => yes
11.Do you like yourself => of course
12.Piercings => 2
13.Righty or Lefty => Both
14. First surgery => None
15. First piercing(s) => 18
16. First person you see in the morning => Myself. Cause i sleep alone
17. First award => Kindy
18. First sport you joined => Badminton
19. First pet => rabbit
20. First vacation => Miri
21. First concert => Local singers
23. Eating => Nothing
24. Drinking => Cola
25. I'm about to => fighting for my Final exam :D
26. Want kids => considering
27. Want to get married => of course
28. Careers in mind => Businesswoman
WHICH ONE IS BETTER
29. Lips or eyes => eyes
30. Hugs or kisses => both
31. Shorter or taller => now is better and best for me
32. Romantic or spontaneous => spontaneous
33. Sensitive or loud => loud
34. Trouble maker or hesitant => hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER
35. Kissed a stranger => never. I would rather kiss the toilet seat
36. Drank bubbles => =_=
37. Lost glasses/contacts => always
38. Ran away from home => thought before
39. Liked someone younger => yes, of course
40. Liked someone older => yes
41. Broken someone's heart => ya. but not purposely..Sorry to him
42. Been arrested => no
43. Cried when someone died => sure
44. Liked a friend => Yeah
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
45. Yourself => oh yeah
46. Miracles => always
47. Heaven => yeah
48. Santa claus => nope
49. Angels => oh yeah oh yeah
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY ~*
50. Is there one person you want to be with right now => YAYA!!!
51. Do you believe in God => yes
52. Tag 5 people => Avery Wee, Johnson, Tiong, Alex, Aldrin
Monday, May 19, 2008
Chai Shan Shan is just a failure. Until today I know I'm a failure. Whenever I meet problem the first reaction is cry then action. But since I will take action why should I cry!!! Might as well hit the wall and damage the room.
Cry, a wonderful weapon for female. Frankly speaking, I never take cry as my weapon. I just use it as a way for me to express my mood. No one listen to me. What I get is just a job an 'arahan' a command to do all the thingy which is not my business. But what I can do? Reject? Get scolded..Get complained. I'm strong but weak as well. I can't stand for such scoldings and complaint everytime. I might collapsed as well.
Today, a wonderful holiday to everyone, a helly day for me. I collapsed. I could hardly smile since I woke up early in the morning. I slept at 4am, wake up at 7am. How do I expect myself with a smile. I just a failure in giving a small fake smile the whole day.
Get pissed off from friends calls. Willing to find someone to talk with but unluckily I chose the wrong time. I'm sorry for him. But after I made call just now, FINALLY, I realised that I just a 100% failure. No one I can talk with now. I can't cry. I have to stop my tear falling down. I've to keep myself strong with any obstacles I meet. I won't ask for help. I don't want to be the nuisance for anyone, someone or even everyone. But doesn't mean that you can take the advantages to bully me. Recently me is DEAD!!! I'll make myself another person.
Won't be scary and harmful but anti bully. I have to be strong. I have to show my ability to hit all the enemies down.
I want to be a successful girl after this failure. This time I fell down so seriously. I must wake up myself and be success. Put more effort in again and be a successful girl next time.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
The stage. And I was just sit right in front of the stage. Mean that, I can't play, laugh too much and must turn my hp to silence mode as my ringtone is so funny.
The VIP at our table. My uncle and my aunt.
The only drink serve. The tea, which is make from the purple leaves..I don't what is that thingy. It tastes sweet but weird for me.
Another Main actress on my table. My niece. She just like to do posting.
The menu for that night. Overall is nice but I dun really try all. Cos some of the vegetarians stuffs do not suit my taste.The first dish. Which I like the most.
The performance by this little boy attract all the audiences attention.The organizers of the dinner.
I was so enjoy looking at his performance. He owns the music school.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
This is our presentation topic..Chanel No.5
Yipee... I think our group did a great job, and I think others as well...congratez...
However, I took some random pictures of these...
3 of us before the presentation...
Me and Tyng before the presentation..Release Stress and Tension..
CONTINUE THIS IF YOU ARE ABOVE 18 YEARS OLD..OR ELSE... ... ...I'm SORRY
There is one group among our classmates present on Durex..Erm, I name this group at WWW.
They bring the sample to the class on what they will present..And this makes our class lotz of fun.
Ahem... This is the SAMPLE..which give me a big shocked....
Someone open it...Oh my goodness...
Has lotz of fun during the presentation today..
Anyway, have a nice day to everyone.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Del, what are you thinking of???
Andrew, say "Cheese"...
The table I used to study at library today..
Kesian Keith.. You look so tired...
The 1st time I feel the food in the cafeteria satisfy my hunger after 18 hours starving..
Nothing special happening today. But I hope my assignment can be done as soon as possible..
Cheer up, Shan shan =)
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Even as a gal themselves, they will ask themselves, WHY IS HIM?
I got my own answer already.
Why is HIM? *other than destiny
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Last but not least,
Thanks a lot for everything. I appreciate everything you did. Really Thanks a lot.
p/s..miss you a lot!!
Monday, April 14, 2008
As usual, I'm now doing my Year 2. This semester I feel so challenging with my study. Assignments and quizes as well as test everytime. But I never feel tired with the assignments or tests given. This is because I think that this is my own time and moment to study. I think most of the people will agree with me. In University life, all the teenagers are becoming mature and outgoing. Unlike in secondary, once we are free from the assignments and tests, we will just declare holiday for ourselves. We will go hang out with friends or spend our times with our loves on. The same goes to me. Whenever there is assignment or test, I would really stress myself by tying my hair up to the ceiling to finish my assignments or my revision everyday. However, I would declare myself holiday to spend my time by watching series or meeting friends as well as my love one.
However, this year, I discover a study method that it is useful for me and I think is suitable for all my friends as well. And now I feel like sharing this method.
1. Whenever there is an assignment given by our lecturer, appreciate it. Cos this is the only time you will flip over and over your course notes and reference books. From here, you can learn few words or even few points.
2. Try to give yourselves 30 minutes to prepare for the class next day. This will indeed let you understand easily and adsorb faster in the class.
3. Never stress yourselves in every obstacles you meet in the study. Take it easy. Everything will solve in the end.
4. Last but not least, declare yourselves a holiday every fortnightly. This will help you to refresh your brain after 2 weeks hardwork. *but not delete everything in your mind.
With the above study method, I found that it is workable on me. So how do you think?
It is 2.47am now. I'm sleepless. I'm now enjoying my mid term holiday. However, I never feel happy with my holiday. It seems like there is still something ruin my mood daily. I've tried and put so many efforts to overcome this kind of feeling. But it still not working. I would like to tell "him" that I will never forget how "helling" i get scolded that day. Thanks a lot for your scoldings. From this I learned a lot and I finally realize and know everything. No worry. I will be strong and one day I will let you be proud of me. Proud that I can do something independently without you, you and you.
However, whenever I was upset, fei fei will always accompany me from time to time. He never scold me for acting stubborn but help me up whenever I was sad. This is when I have a shoulder to lean against. Feeling the warm and care outside my hometown. Although sometimes he cant really do anything to help me, however, he will try to make me smile whenever my tears dropped. Although he was sick or not feeling well, he will always try to make me smile as he said, fei fei will never let afei cry. He will always come out with jokes to make me smile or even laugh as loud as I can. But Fei Fei, I would like to tell you that, do you realize that, my tears drop easily. This is because warm and care from you let me feel so touch. I won't say I can't live without you. But I will say I want to stay with you forever.
However, this 2 weeks I learned a lot of thingy. The most important one I learned to take care a sick person. I'd learn how to cook a tasty grean pea soup with barley as to get once heat off. I've learned how to give emergency help when someone needed. Previously I will think that by paying money to get the medicine will cure once sickness. But now, I feel that concern by the love one is the basic way to help the patient. But for sure don't make it very lengthy. haha..The most important, I learned how to be independence and protect myself. But last but not least, always remember that friends are always besides.
Anyway, I think I should stop this *untitled* here. Will try to update my blog frequently. And wish me good luck. Gambate to myself. Good luck to all my friends and classmates.
*ling, I miss you a lot.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I'm in Year 2 now. Just suddenly "up-level" to the status of senior for most of the new comers. Not much different compare to last semester, we still have to face the same people, same friends, same lecturer, same timetable. But one small different this semester is we no need to go to school during the registration, stay in a long long queue for registration. The student admin has do everything for us. What we have to do is to take the invoice and pay the money..
Nothing much today.
*will be updated soon =)
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Today is so empty for me. I'm totally in bad mood now. I don't how to smile. This is the first time I go out driving without any destination in very high speed. This is the first time I can't find my route to go back home.
I'd waited the call and the message the whole day. Every seconds, Every minutes Every hours and Every moments. I never blame for waiting. Just feel so empty empty the whole day. I wish to talk with someone. At least I can feel better. I failed.
I'm now at Bintulu and far far away from Kuching. This is the first time I feel the distance is so so so so so far that I can't reach by calling using cellphone.
I think I gonna change my behaviour. Sometimes I don't think that sincerity help a lotz in everything. I gonna remember every people around me. Remember their behaviour. And treat people differently. This will cause less trouble.