It is 2.55 am now. I just awoke by a nightmare. It really makes me sleepless and helpless.
I hate suffering in this kind of situation. No one there is really helping me. Got fooled and scolded all the while. The purpose I like to go out is because I really don't dare to stay alone for so long.
Im tired of everything. Pressuring me alot on my study and maintain my relationship (family, love and friends). Nothing expected I got. All the unexpected I got. I tried hardly to be good but why never get appreciated!
I'm a gal. Basically a helpless gal somehow, i dunno how, with problems. I wish to know why BUT i was failed in getting all the answers I want. I'm coward. I never dare to stay alone. This is my real behaviour since I was still a little gal. I scare of dark due to my bad experience in my primary school life. I hate to lose due to the pressure of people's words. So I pressure myself a lot in doing whatever thing. I'm always escape from argue with him or friends because I've tired of arguing. Being scolded and teased at the same time is SUCK for me.
I want to find a person who really there for me to rely on. A shoulder that always stand by for me to lean against. I found it. But I almost lost it. I'm trying so hard to grab it, avoid it from losing. I try to be independence but yet I need help and TIME..
I NEED YOU!! This is what I can say now. I really can't sleep. I cant even count how many nights I need u in midnight and how many nights I was suffering sleepless nights and nightmares. I hate that kind of situations, that kind of feelings. I cant even measure how much I wish to see you everyday and how much I miss you. I cant even measure how much I wish to grab a hug from you. Grab the power of strength and brave from you like previously.
This is the first time I feel this kind of feeling. Frightening, scary, helpless and lonely. There come together at the same time. I gonna copy the lyric of one song, "all I want is you".