Thursday, October 23, 2008


New Hair style..

But never change my mood and luck..

I really need a big big hug from you, ling..

A week with 7 days..
But mine seems like 7 years for this particular week.

I'd met a lot of questions which I can't really explain by words.
I cried a lot, almost every night before I sleep. I try to recall what I'd done, what I'd said. But there is nth to prove me wrong. I just do what I said, say what I did. I never care whether you choose to believe or not because I don't lie at all.
Whatever I did is not accepted but whatever they did, exactly same as mine, you praise them.
I was doing the thing that you would accept but you didn't.
Can you imagine my weeks/month with scoldings and yelling.

Handphone is considered as a usefull tool for connections with people around the world or a good way to communicate with people without looking at him or her. BUT for me its sucks. I called the one I have to call to explain everything clearly I got scolded all the time. When I called the one I wish he can accompany me he started to be frustrated because of my stuff.

I'm sorry. Until now, I really don't know what is happening exactly NOW!! I wish someone can tell me but no one there understand and dare to analyse for me. I know that this case is a sensitive stuff. I knew it but I don't know. (I know this phrase is weird but it's my feeling now.)

This is for you, ling...>>>>>

Ling, I have to say thousand of sorry for what I've did this month. It's all out of my control. Everything happened without my expectation. What I get is scoldings but what I missed is the chance of explanation. I wish to explain all the time when I met it but I was stopped. Maybe you're right. I'm stubborn. But I still have to respect them. Frankly speaking, whenever I called you I expected to be scolded by you. I'm afraid. I think and filtered everything when I talked in case I "put on" the fire. Is tough for you to have such "nee" but I'll try to recover myself. Give me a chance to do it. Give me a shoulder to lean against with. I won't need you to help me to do
everything but what I need is YOUR SHOULDER for me to lean against with.

There are some words that I never dare to tell you face to face or on call. I'm afraid that I can't control my emotion. I hope you don't blame me on what I did this few weeks, month. I'm really sorry and I really look forward for a BIG BIG HUG from you. I admit. I NEED IT!!! To feel care and warm. I admit I NEED THE BIG HUG FROM YOU, LING!!!

Friday, October 10, 2008


I'm generous. But there's limit.
I'm still an ordinary girl regardless on how generous am I.
I'll jealous without telling anyone of you!
I'm gentle"lady" enough for not breaking your ego feeling.
I HATE sharing like you and any GIRLs /boys.
Stand in my position and think before you start yelling "what the hell!"

I HATE sharing. Including my study, my life, my stuff and even my love, my boy, my ANYTHING!! There're mine. Stamped my name on it early.
Everything in the PAST is HISTORY! PAST=HISTORY.
NOW and FUTURE there are MINE!!!MINE!!! is the area that you are NOT allowed to step in and YOU ARE NOT SINCERELY INVITED!!

I'm not selfish. But I need respect.
You are NOTHING to comment about my life on my everything or how I treat someone or anyone.
This is me. You haven't know me well.
Just remember..I'm generous with limitation. My limitation is kind enough to serve everyone on earth. Don't go over my limit.
I'll keep everything, everyone, every and every with me only once I start to angry.
I look so weak in front of you because I respect you as my FRIEND(s). Frankly speaking, I'm not the one you see. I'm the one you NEVER know.